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The lawyer’s weekly dose of humor and headlines
Caveat emptor: Open at your own discretion
Happy Friday, Counselors of Chaos, Defenders of Deadlines. Let’s roll with our top laughable (oops, legal) briefs for the week!
What’s Happening: The American Bar Association wants law schools to take “concrete action” on diversity. Great, right? Except now 21 Republican attorneys general are calling it an illegal mandate for race-based hiring and admissions. Everyone’s lawyered up (shocking!), and the ABA will vote on this in February.
Our Take: We’re not saying the ABA is stuck between a rock and a hard place, but let’s just hope their mediation skills are better than your average HOA lawyer.
Why It Matters: Whether you’re a law school grad, hiring partner, or just here for the CLE credits, this fight could redefine diversity standards for years to come. Stay tuned, popcorn optional.
What’s Happening: The Supreme Court is gearing up to hear a challenge to Obamacare’s preventive care requirements. If overturned, insurers could stop covering basic services like cancer screenings. Because who needs early detection when you can just litigate your way to health?
Our Take: We love a good argument, but this one feels like it’s debating whether parachutes are necessary when skydiving. Spoiler alert: They are.
Why It Matters: Healthcare law attorneys, grab your pens—or swords. This case could redefine what “standard care” means in the insurance world.
What’s Happening: Generative AI is taking law firms by storm. Some firms are already automating document review, while others swear they’d rather hire a goldfish than trust ChatGPT with a deposition.
Our Take: If AI starts billing hours, do we get a cut? Asking for a friend (and our mortgage lender).
Why It Matters: Love it or hate it, AI is here to stay. The real question is: How long until it outperforms that one associate who still thinks “track changes” is a legal tech revolution?
What’s Happening: After a sluggish 2024, law firms are predicting a boom in mergers and acquisitions for 2025. Thanks, private capital! This optimism is great, but let’s hope the deals don’t collapse faster than your last New Year’s resolution.
Our Take: Let’s be real: Nothing says “economic optimism” like billionaires swapping assets while the rest of us debate which Netflix plan we can afford.
Why It Matters: Corporate lawyers, this is your moment. Dust off those NDAs and get ready for the ride.
What’s Happening: Years after a $2.7 billion antitrust settlement, lawyers are still fighting over their share of the $667 million attorney fees. One firm even filed a lawsuit against another for not splitting fairly. If that’s not ironic, we don’t know what is.
Our Take: Looks like the only thing more competitive than law school is a room full of lawyers dividing a check.
Why It Matters: It’s a reminder that in this industry, the drama doesn’t stop once the case closes.
In Closing: Our Final Argument
Your inbox is full of legal briefs and client rants. Let Legal LOLs be the newsletter you actually look forward to reading. Got a tip, a case, or just a snarky comment? Send it our way. We might even feature you (or roast you, no promises).
P.S. This newsletter is 100% billable if you read it on the clock. Just saying.
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